03 Set up a Youtube channel (:
04 Keep up with close friends
05 Set up my portfolio
And I need money to:
- Make my specs
- Develop my rolls of film
- Fall Out Boy Ticket
- Clothes Rack
Currently doing my writing assignment because it's due tomorrow and I don't feel particularly motivated till 3 hours before the deadline. I'm kidding. I have approximately 20 hours before I'm officially screwed and it's enough time for a last minute worker such as myself so it's all good.
I'm staring at a blank word document right now though.
I wish words would find me now.
What do I want to write about?
How do I want to write it?
Block. Dead end.
A pure thought, undiluted by fear.
I never worry when I'm with you, when your presence is right beside me.
5am in mcdonalds, sitting across from you with a medium green tea between us.
Talking about you, me, us, stupid things, important things, the past, the future.
We spent so much time wishing that the both of us had a little extra money to spare.
But nights like these are proof that you don't need money or material goods to be happy.
All you need is the right company.
Happy 11th month, Danial.
I feel like I've been physically absent from places. I know people need me now for certain things but I'm being selfish and thinking about my own troubles first. It's time to stop because there are things that need to be done.
Been through a lot but there are people going through worse, always.
And no, I don't want to talk about it.
Went to music matters live at clarke quay on vesak day and had a lot of fun.
Met up with Danial first and then Emman and his friends (:
I feel like I'm the only one calling him Emman when everyone else is calling him Manu
Initially we came just to watch Boyce Avenue and Faber Drive but then I had this really strong urge to watch the band before boyce. So I dragged Danial over to the stage. I didn't know anything about this band at all, just that their name was Fairchild and that they were from Australia.
holy shit, when they started playing.
They were fucking good live and their music made me feel like dancing. The lead singer's voice, the lyrics, the melodies, everything was so amazing. Danial left halfway to drink with Emman so I was alone in the crowd, absorbing every pulsing beat they put out. I think no one even heard of them before this but I'm pretty damn sure that they'd get more than a few fans after this show. By the end of their set, I was in love.
Danial came back just as their set was ending, pushing his way through the growing crowd to get to me. Caught Boyce Avenue before getting bored and walking off to Fern & Kiwi so that we'd catch Faber Drive.
Walked around and couldn't find the fucking place and by the time we actually got there, the place was packed as hell and we were at a shitty spot at the back. Highlight of their set was when they covered locked out of heaven, which Danial enjoyed thoroughly. And then the crowd was going crazy for the last song, tongue tied.
Got back to Emman, lepak, drank a little and then decided to go to McD's at liang court to get some grub. On our way there, these group of angmoh guys walked past us and I stoned for a moment before realising that they were the guys from fairchild. They were already quite a distance away when Danial asked if we wanted to go talk to them. Decided not to and carried on to mcdonald's all depressed and stuff.
But OH MY FUCKING GOD, they were in the 7/11 next to the mcdonald's in liang court! D: I was a little tipsy by that point of time. I wasn't sure if I was heady from the alcohol or from them being in front of me. Danial talked to them cause I was speechless and I didn't want to say anything stupid.
I got a hug from the bassist (tommy) and the vocalist (adam) !!! They are so friendly, I swear. They like said sorry for being all sweaty and smelly but I didn't care. And they asked where we were going and stuff. And by this point both me and Dan's phones were dead so Dan took a picture of me and the band on Adam's phone and Adam gave us a namecard for us to email them for the photo.
Got green Tea from McD and I couldn't stop smiling after that.
So at 2 in the morning, we walked from Clarke Quay to Raffles City to City Hall and then to MBS. Snapped pictures along the way, with dan's camera which he forgot was in his bag. I wish we had bikes though. Caught quite a few kids cycling around town and even through MBS, it looks so damn fun. I'm gonna try it one day.
It was a strange thing to see tall empty buildings with no one around or in them. It makes me feel tiny and alone in the world. I start to get paranoid that everyone died and that I'm the only person alive right now. But I had the boy with me so everything was all good.
Slept at the goddamn foodcourt at MBS till we took the first train home.
But I'll learn to keep my mouth shut for once.
It's nice to not let the poison seep through to others once in a while.
You. Someone else.
It dawned on me, perhaps I've just agreed to making myself miserable for the next few months. It's like I shook hands with this inner chaos and welcomed it into my heart to stay for a long time. I'm insecure to begin with and I'll be even more insecure from now on. I wouldn't say that I'll always remember those words I read but everytime I see you, those bad memories will resurface to cause me pain again.